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It is 10 a.m. You have made and managed breakfast for your husband, who is living with Parkinson’s Disease. You remind him to scoot his hips forward on the chair, make sure his feet are firmly planted before he stands, then begin the process of helping him get dressed for a doctor’s appointment. You have given him his medicine, paid the bills, and started a load of laundry.
What you have not done is take care of yourself. It has been one week since you have had more than five hours of sleep at night. As you adapt to the rhythm of what feels like a 36-hour day, you have forgotten to fix yourself a balanced meal, opting instead to snack on whatever is available. You feel depleted and irritable.
You are not alone. Unpaid caregivers are the backbone of long-term care provided at home. The burden of providing this care is heavy. According to AARP, in Virginia, there are close to one million family caregivers providing 920 million hours of unpaid family care. More than a third of family caregivers are 65 and over, so they are managing the challenges that come with aging in their own lives at the same time they are caring for a loved one.
In order to provide the care your loved one needs, it is important to take care of yourself. Here are a few ways to build a path toward wellness:
• Identify what mental patterns are holding you back from prioritizing your own needs. Do you feel selfish? Do you think others will perceive you as incompetent if you ask for help? Is anxiety about time management making you believe self-care is not practical? Journal, or talk with friends or professionals to begin to work through these barriers.
• Try positive self-talk such as “I am good at cooking meals Mom will eat” or “I deserve time to rest and recharge.” Over time, your brain will believe this internal dialogue.
• Schedule some time just for yourself. This can be a walk around the block, an online art workshop, a phone call with a friend, journaling, or reading a chapter of a book.
• Consider some gentle, meditative exercise like tai chi or yoga. Both reduce stress while providing other whole-body benefits.
• Connect with a caregiver support group online or in-person. This is an opportunity to share joys and frustrations, learn new caregiving methods, and access resources that can be helpful in your journey.
• See your health care provider for routine screenings and vaccines. Tell your provider that you are a caregiver and share concerns you have about the impact caregiving has on your health.
November is National Family Caregivers Month – a good time to start celebrating the care you provide and get the help you need. Visit vpas.info/caregivers or call 540-615-5341 for support.
